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the moon my dream
3 min read
I dreamed last night that the moon had become gigantic. You could see on its golden surface places for rivers, and pictures made from shadows of ridges. I'd seen all this while looking through the web of a spider, dew dripping from the silk threads in the middle of the night. The moon was so full and large that I became humble and aware. Childlike even.
I had seen a man come out of his rich house and walk onto his porch, and I shouted to him about the moon. The man was cruel and intent on hurting my friends, but still I had shouted to him to look at the moon.
I found that his face had been malformed in a violent fight and he had used his money to build a mask out of gold to cover one eye and his nose.Where the nose had been, a delicate mermaid tail curved down and into gold sculpted water ripples. Where his eye had been- a reptilian eye made of gold.
I had been impressed by the beauty of the piece and told him I thought it was brilliant. He looked at me cynically, and asked why I lied.
In my dream men like him were trying to kill the people around him, and then were reduced to try and kill themselves. He held an oily black revolver in his aged hands when I spoke to him.
The dream relocated to a luxurious parlor within his house. Antiques gleamed around us, bottles filled with whiskey and scotch glistened in a cabinet behind his head.
I grew quiet when I saw the gun, and he said in the same low cynical tone, that he was not a man to use knives. Perhaps, he said, it has to do with how brave I am not that I don't use a knife. He'd cocked the gun and looked at it thoughtfully.
I didn't want to see the man die in front of me. The humility I felt from the moon made me feel he should not die at all.
Before my dream ended I asked why he would want to shoot himself in the parlor. I asked him why would he want to leave such a mess for his family to clean up. He had turned a wry smile onto me, and asked- Why not?
I had a mental image of him going to a quiet place in the forest beneath the moon and doing it there. A beautiful place beneath the moon where everything would wash away with rain. I appealed again to him that the mess a person's body becomes after such a violent death is never dignified.
His one real eye and one blank reptile eye considered me over the gun.
And then I woke up.
I had seen a man come out of his rich house and walk onto his porch, and I shouted to him about the moon. The man was cruel and intent on hurting my friends, but still I had shouted to him to look at the moon.
I found that his face had been malformed in a violent fight and he had used his money to build a mask out of gold to cover one eye and his nose.Where the nose had been, a delicate mermaid tail curved down and into gold sculpted water ripples. Where his eye had been- a reptilian eye made of gold.
I had been impressed by the beauty of the piece and told him I thought it was brilliant. He looked at me cynically, and asked why I lied.
In my dream men like him were trying to kill the people around him, and then were reduced to try and kill themselves. He held an oily black revolver in his aged hands when I spoke to him.
The dream relocated to a luxurious parlor within his house. Antiques gleamed around us, bottles filled with whiskey and scotch glistened in a cabinet behind his head.
I grew quiet when I saw the gun, and he said in the same low cynical tone, that he was not a man to use knives. Perhaps, he said, it has to do with how brave I am not that I don't use a knife. He'd cocked the gun and looked at it thoughtfully.
I didn't want to see the man die in front of me. The humility I felt from the moon made me feel he should not die at all.
Before my dream ended I asked why he would want to shoot himself in the parlor. I asked him why would he want to leave such a mess for his family to clean up. He had turned a wry smile onto me, and asked- Why not?
I had a mental image of him going to a quiet place in the forest beneath the moon and doing it there. A beautiful place beneath the moon where everything would wash away with rain. I appealed again to him that the mess a person's body becomes after such a violent death is never dignified.
His one real eye and one blank reptile eye considered me over the gun.
And then I woke up.
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feeling the moon wax.
1 min read
I think I use distractions as a buffer from myself.
[help me im sinking in myself]
because really, inspite of my 20 fingers and toes, and general normal appearance,
im hyperactive.
My mind is
[burning in my mind]
hyper all the time.
Churning all the time.
measuring all the
[moments of myself]
people and items around me. constantly counting.
Everything I experience eventually triples in intensity. My mind is a
multiplier
[multiple expressions]
I told myself to shut down again.
To go back to the days of silence silence
[but my mind is so noisy]
all the time.
[my mind is like a room full of birds]
fucking birds.
[help me im sinking in myself]
because really, inspite of my 20 fingers and toes, and general normal appearance,
im hyperactive.
My mind is
[burning in my mind]
hyper all the time.
Churning all the time.
measuring all the
[moments of myself]
people and items around me. constantly counting.
Everything I experience eventually triples in intensity. My mind is a
multiplier
[multiple expressions]
I told myself to shut down again.
To go back to the days of silence silence
[but my mind is so noisy]
all the time.
[my mind is like a room full of birds]
fucking birds.
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soft
1 min read
It's been ages since I've made do of this place....
Last night I dreamed that my brother and his friends came into the house. My brother was being awkward, and trying to ask me something. Annoyed that he couldn't spit it out, he finally asked if I'd like to go to the grocery store and pick up some ganja.
I woke up and told my brother this.
brother: "hell no."
...
awh.
Sidenote: I've again been able to borrow a reasonable photography device. I should get to work.
Last night I dreamed that my brother and his friends came into the house. My brother was being awkward, and trying to ask me something. Annoyed that he couldn't spit it out, he finally asked if I'd like to go to the grocery store and pick up some ganja.
I woke up and told my brother this.
brother: "hell no."
...
awh.
Sidenote: I've again been able to borrow a reasonable photography device. I should get to work.
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UNF
1 min read
AILGKN,FAJ
My brain is full of EXPLOSION
I am such a dork.
jiarklgfaiuhkjas
free photoshop? for me? as a gift? i love you forever?
I have on my computer Adobe Photoshop CS6 where I have never
had
one
ever
before.
i would never afford this around everything else
crying
And there is so much here to learn
and so much for me
And I have NO IDEA how to use it even
but I just made an entire playlist of youtube tutorials
and this is more interesting than anything else
on youtube ever
and oh lord.
hyperventilation since 9 am this morning.
My brain is full of EXPLOSION
I am such a dork.
jiarklgfaiuhkjas
free photoshop? for me? as a gift? i love you forever?
I have on my computer Adobe Photoshop CS6 where I have never
had
one
ever
before.
i would never afford this around everything else
crying
And there is so much here to learn
and so much for me
And I have NO IDEA how to use it even
but I just made an entire playlist of youtube tutorials
and this is more interesting than anything else
on youtube ever
and oh lord.
hyperventilation since 9 am this morning.
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occlipse
2 min read
An unhealthy muse and a certain mind are all it takes to close the door.
Sunday the moon will occlude the sun- a crescent will form like a burning half closed eye. Eventually just a ring of fire will show: the annulus.
What will the world look like in that sort of light? Will it be the typical sunset? Where everything looks like it is on the edge of the earth.
The edge of the end...
Will the real shadows show?
I wish, sometimes, for a drama to unfold. I wish, sometimes, that I could have a logical reason to turn heel, grab my bags, and just run. Run to the forest. Run to uncertain death. Run away with some stranger only because I have a vibe that they won't hurt me.
I've fallen in love with this world though, as much as I love my own romanticism and illusions. I love the people caught with their guard down. I love the family I've learned. I love freedom. I love feeling.
I hope I always remain hungry like this. The uncertainty of what to do, and the excitement for it. The need to move forwards. The feeling of need to just do anything.
Sunday the moon will occlude the sun- a crescent will form like a burning half closed eye. Eventually just a ring of fire will show: the annulus.
What will the world look like in that sort of light? Will it be the typical sunset? Where everything looks like it is on the edge of the earth.
The edge of the end...
Will the real shadows show?
I wish, sometimes, for a drama to unfold. I wish, sometimes, that I could have a logical reason to turn heel, grab my bags, and just run. Run to the forest. Run to uncertain death. Run away with some stranger only because I have a vibe that they won't hurt me.
I've fallen in love with this world though, as much as I love my own romanticism and illusions. I love the people caught with their guard down. I love the family I've learned. I love freedom. I love feeling.
I hope I always remain hungry like this. The uncertainty of what to do, and the excitement for it. The need to move forwards. The feeling of need to just do anything.
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